Being that this is blog is partially about “dating” and all, I started thinking about some of my past dating/relationship/romantic experiences. I came up with a list of the best and worst for you guys. These events occurred pre-baby (PM) and after-baby (AM). I’ll indicate when necessary.
Here goes:
All You Get is 50 cent Franks at Papayas:
I went out with a guy who made a big show of announcing that he would be picking up the tab at the end of the night. First off, why announce this? And secondly, he shouldn’t have, given the fact that by the end of the evening I ended up purchasing two hotdogs for him at Gray’s Papaya (after he dropped several hints about being hungry and spending all of his funds on drinks), AND I had to swipe MY Metrocard so he could get back home. And no, we weren’t at a really fancy place where drinks were expensive. And NO, I didn’t order a lot. I had two drinks, one of which I was already drinking when he showed up, so he didn’t pay for that one. This was my first date AM, and it was very unnerving. We never hung out again.
2: You Can’t Even Keep Your F***king Nails Clean:
Remember when Janet Jackson said that in Poetic Justice? Well, I once went out with a guy who made me recall this line. He picked me up from the office and off we went to dinner. We got to the restaurant, were seated, and placed our drink orders. Now, I already wasn’t feeling the fact that he was one of those dudes who felt that he needed to let the whole world see his boxers. That was turnoff number one. He also made a lot of sex-related comments—turnoff number two. So, when he proceeded to start cleaning his fingernails at the table, I was done. Watching those black flecks of dirt hit the table cloth let me know that our time together was done. I told him he was disgusting, announced that I was leaving and took off. I didn’t even wait for the cocktails to arrive. This was a PM date, in case you were wondering.
3: Real Life Rat Boy?
I had been seeing this guy for a couple of months. He had to go to Switzerland for some reason or another and was gone for two weeks. When he came back, he had tons of Swiss chocolates (some of the best in the world!) to keep for himself and to pass out as souvenirs. There is a reason why I am telling you all of this. One evening we were chatting on the phone, shooting the breeze, when I asked him how his first day back at work was following his vacay.
Him: I think that some rats got into my desk while I was away.
Me: Why do you think that?
Him: Well, before I went away, a co-worker was selling some Ronald McDonald fundraiser chocolates and I purchased a few bars. When I got back, I saw that the ends of the chocolate bars had been nibbled on rats.
Me: So, ummmm, you threw those away, right?
Him: Hell no! That’s good chocolate. I just broke the ends off and ate the rest.
Simply disgusting. The man had gourmet chocolates at his disposal, yet he would rather risk rabies than throw away $2 worth of candy. That’s just cheap and nasty. Needless to say, it ended shortly thereafter. I could not see myself staying with a guy who consumes rodent-tainted food.
Ahhhh, but I have had some good romantic/date experiences.
In particular was a gesture by my daughter’s father. While I was pregnant, we were both pretty serious about the foods I ate. We wanted our baby to have the best chances possible. On the forbidden list were foods like pork, beef and caffeine. One week however, I was CRAVING a cheeseburger and an ice cold Pepsi with a twist. I fought the desire off, but that didn’t stop me from talking about it all the time. One day he called me and told me to meet him the lounge/restaurant area of the Marriot in Times Square. When I arrived, he waved me over and waiting for me was a NICE, HUGE, juicy cheeseburger, fries and an ice cold Pepsi, with lemon of course. I was in heaven. It meant a lot considering that he was even more serious about sticking to our pre-approved list of foods than I was.
Another gesture worth mentioning happened while I was college. I’d mentioned to this guy I was seeing that my favorite color was purple (at the time). It just came up in conversation. Well, the next time he came to visit me at the dorms, he had a nice-sized bag of purple flavored treats for me. Laffy Taffy, Now and Laters, Blow Pops, etc. It was just too cute! And it was creative and thrifty. And that always wins me over.
*Editor’s note: I should probably mention that the the guy who gave me the purple treats happens to be the same guy mentioned in my first post who resurfaced after 12 years.
I would love to hear the best and the worst of your dating experiences. Please share. Seriously. It can’t always be about me. :)
5 comments:
I WISH I could remember my best date. Dates aren't really my thing. I DO however remember one particular date. I was about 18 and made plans to see HIGHER LEARNING at Green Acres Mall with my GF at the time. Aparently, she didn't like the person I was coming with & decided to see the earlier show with her girlfriend. So, while I waited outside for hours, she was inside watching the movie.
I GUESS you can call that a bad date.
Another date that stands out in my mind is a blind date I went on. I met this girl through a mutual friend. Everything was set up by that person. I picked her up at the train station and took her out for drinks. I bought her one drink and she nursed it for a whole hour. I had about 4.
I told her it was going to be an early night for me so I had to take her home (She was ghetto as can be). I drive her to her projects and she wanted to give me "incentive" to see her again, so she leans me back in my seat & performs fellatio until I was content. She swallowed too! (How nice of her!)
She asked for my number and I gave her the one to my favorite pizza shop.
I GUESS you can call that one a good date. I had some nice drinks, some nice brains and I didn't even have to deal with her after that! What more could a guy want???
I remember one date I went on, with the infamous angry black man...we were discussing having pride in your country which basically ended with him telling me I was brainwashed and calling me a subservient negro (in those exact words).
And one good memory I have of an ex...I had been talking about this bracelet I wanted for months. I went to go visit him during the summer and I was walking back to his room to get back in the bed, and found the bracelet box under my pillow.
Fortunately, I can't really remember any bad dates (I'm sure that the trauma has caused me to block them from memory), other than the one many years ago where the guy I had been seeing for a few weeks decided to come clean on his "miscommunication" about going to boarding school when he was a teenager - He meant to say that he was in an insane asylum.
I can see how one could easily transpose the two.
Dave- that girl who stood you up sounds pretty damn awesome. Maybe you just need better friends. ;)
Angie - Sucks about Mr. Militant. But, kudos on the bling!
Ultramag - I'm sorry....lol
Here goes...I went out on a date with this guy who was in the "industry"...yea I know basically a wannabe, roadie or groupie. No I can't lie he did have a little cred and real experience as an artist manager under his belt but nothing to write home about.
So we went out to eat at this place in times square, I forgot the name and he's going on and on talking about himself and his life in the crazy world of entertainment and hip hop and name dropping like a mother! So while he is talking he says "excuse me" and picks up his phone and begans talking. I'm guessing it vibrated because I didn't hear it ring. So he's having this heated discussion with this person on the other end and dropping big names...saying "I don't care what she wants you tell her this is how its going to be!" Well lo and behold during his rant, the phone rings! Yes the cell phone called HIM out! Exposed this phony for who he was. We both looked at each other and he attempted to play it off really quick by saying, "oh that's my other line." HA!
I had to ask everyone I knew does ANY type of phone like that exist? Of course not. Oh well he gave me a good story to tell. These experiences allow us to truly identify what we really want and need from the opposite sex. What was sad is that in between the name dropping we actually had decent conversation. But unfortunately for him that little incident torpedoed him into the undateable pool.
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