PM (check the last post for what this term means), I would have just hit the streets alone and found some trouble to get into. I guess being a mom has made me more cautious about hanging out alone OR I am just out of practice. I also happen to be a weirdo magnet and going places alone only attracts them more.
But like I said, I wasn’t always this way. For my 25th birthday, my “date” for the evening decided at the last minute to cancel (what a douchebag). I was all dressed up and ready to go grab a meal at the Sharkbag. At first, I was hesitant to go alone. I didn’t want to be that lone diner who is forced to not make eye contact with folks, read a book, or make calls on my cell so I don’t look like I am uncomfortable being alone. After a pep talk with myself, I decided to just suck it up and go.
When I got there and asked for a table for one, the maitre d’ looked behind him (there were several empty tables, as it was mid-week), and said there would be a slight wait—he had to get someone to clear the other place settings.
So while at the bar, I mentioned that it was my birthday to the bartender. He declared that my watermelon martini would be on the house. Score one for the “dumped” girl.
Sitting next to me were two older gentlemen who were eavesdropping. One of them (who was very easy on the eyes), started chatting me up, when the maitre d’ came and told me that my table was ready. Not wanting to be rude, but I was WAS hungry, I told the stranger I had to go. He asked if he could finish our talk over dinner.
So all through the meals and drinks, I filled him in on why I was there alone, life story, background, yada, yada, yada. Vice versa. Then the check came. He paid. Score number two for the “dumped” girl.
Of course, he tried to take me home. Duh! Sadly, the generous gentleman did not score. We had a few phone conversations following this, with the last one ending him calling me disrespectful for not expressing gratitude for the free meal. Really.
Anyway, fast forward to AM days (again, check the previous post for definition), I feel as if I’ve lost my mojo to do these things. I have two weddings coming up where it looks like I’ll be flying solo. So, I better get used to being in these social settings alone again. There are also a few events coming up that I want to check out that my friends are either in positions to not attend (pregnant), too pre-occupied (family and relationships), or just not interested in (losers…I kid, I kid).
So, it’s time for me to take the plunge and grow some. Starting tomorrow, I’ll be accepting my first “challenge” to myself to get out and do something, even if it has to be alone.
Any suggestions on where I can get a good weirdo magnet repellent?
9 comments:
Weirdo Repellent? Dream on! Such device simply doesn't exist.(lol).. Then again, does the mere fact of a man's failure to gain your romantic interest qualify him as a weirdo?
Are you being too selective perhaps?
As a successful and attractive black woman...prospective suitors in the 'black men dating pool' will be few and perhaps unable to fully measure up? This is simply a harsh reality.
Many intransigent successful black women often end up widening their dating pool to include white men and other ethnic groups. Are you open to that?
Either way, good luck!
Anonymous,
By "weirdos", I mean all types of quack jobs, not just men seeking to gain my interest.
But, to answer your other question, I am an OPPOSITE sex EOE. I haven't discriminated in the past, nor do I plan to do so in the future.
Thanks for the well wishes....
Girl, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a table for one. Earlier this year when I considered moving to a city where I knew not ONE person, I was actually prepared to make that my m.o. in order to meet new people. It's a good conversation starter! Once they get past the fact that you aren't a loser who can't get any friends/dates, you're good! LOL
Re: Weirdo repellent - Search Ebay for pepper spray. If you're feeling feisty, search for a taser.
I still haven't worked my way up to dining out alone. I give you props for that!
If I find a weirdo repellent, you have to find me a thug repellent. Seriously...
If you find the antidote to attracting weirdo's please share it with me. It seems reading a book, listening to a mp3 player, wearing my wedding band, nor a baby bump deters these freaks from dumbing out where ever I go.
First, I just want to say that it's ironic that women - who, for the most part, feel the need to "be with someone" - would be the only ones considering going out by themselves.
2nd, all I can say is that no matter where you go, you are going to run into "weirdos". There's no avoiding it. So, go to a place where you know you will enjoy yourself, like a comedy club or live jazz spot.
3rd, keep in mind one thing - no matter what a guy says and no matter how nice he is, if he pays for something -anything- it means he wants something in return. He may want to see you again. He may want sex. He may want you to take him home & treat him like a baby or spank him with a spiked bat. It also doesn't matter how insignificant the item or favor is, we want SOMETHING in return.
Has this ever happened to you? You're waiting for the train and for whatever reason you can't chaeck your phone or watch so you ask a stranger What time is it?" & his reply is "it's 6:44, would you like some dick??"
You probably haven't BUT, he might've asked for your number or found another way to keep talking to you - all in an attempt to see how far he could take things.
My advice for ALL women is - if you REALLY want to get to know a guy that you've just met and he seems like an ok person, DON'T LET HIM PAY FOR A THING! Don't let him give you a ride, don't let him walk you to the subway, keep things as casual as possible b/c once you've accepted anything from him, you are indebted to him in his mind. BELIEVE IT and HEED IT!
Again, what he believes you owe him may not be sex, but he IS expecting SOMETHING.
...and in response to Ms Kianicole, a wedding ring and a baby bump is double the attraction b/c not only are you NOT looking for anything serious, he doesn't have to worry about getting you pregnant, IF you fell for his advances. that doesn't make him a weirdo, it makes him an OPPORTUNIST!
HEH HEH...
I wish there was weirdo repellent. I've been trying to walk around this week showcasing my engagement ring and that's brought a whole new set of weirdos to the table. Maybe you need to invent this Weirdo Repellent (besides pepper spray) and then make the big bucks off of that.
I started taking myself out to dinner and bars a few years ago and I love the freedom of spending what I want and coming and going when I want. Have fun with it, I found that I would have some really amazing (and safe) adventures when I took myself out.
Dave's ideas, a comedy club or a jazz club are good but have fun no matter where you go.
hey going out alone is not necessarily a bad thing. i have gone out to concerts by myself because i couldn't find anyone to go with and a great time hanging out with the people around me. it really can be fun, you'll see.
So what ever happened? Did you go to the weddings alone? What about the other events? Well I just happen to be one of your friends who wouldn't mind going with you for future reference...
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