Yeah right. I don’t have the time or energy to rehash my life story right now. Perhaps another day, another mood, another post. But now, I’m just jumping right in.
So, circumstances have found me single, 30 years old and a mom, living in New York City. Those of you who are familiar with NYC, know that it’s one of the hardest places to have successful dating experiences. And given the fact that I am raising a little one, I’ve been proceeding with caution for the past year. I can no longer go on a “trampage” just because I’m young, single, and “not ugly”. Needless to say, things have been very dead for me.
That is, until recently when I bumped into someone from my past who seemed to have promise. More than a decade had gone by since I’d last seen him, but the chemistry was there. After some hesitancy on my end, I decided to see if any substantial could develop. It was wonderful at first—he’s a great guy. But, just because two people are physically attracted to each other, enjoy each other’s company, have a lot in common and make each other happy, doesn’t mean it can work out. I know that it sounds like it should, right? But, sometimes people are at different stages in their lives and want different things. I won’t get into the particulars of what is pushing me towards the door on this one, because although I doubt he’ll find his way here to read this, these things have a way of getting out.
And he is such a cool guy, that I don’t want to piss him off. He has actually enhanced my life, so no matter what, I still want that friendship.
Now, back to the point I am getting at. The aforementioned guy is just one year older than me. I’ve been finding that men my age are still unsure of what they want. Recently, I have been chatting with guys and learning that even at the age of 30, they have either never been in a relationship, been in love, or both. They are just content to continue dating. That’s their preference and prerogative. I won't knock it. But, they are simply not “marketable” to someone like me.
So, I’m thinking about upgrading, age-wise that is, to start dating 35-45 year old men. Some of my friends have already told me that it’s a bad idea. One has already told me not to bring any old-ass men out with us when we hang.
Another one warned me that older men come with their fair share of hang-ups too, such as lack of stamina, early bed times and stubbornness. But, given my recent success rate, what have I got to lose, right? Should I, or shouldn’t I? What do you think?
I’ll let you know how it turns out, if I do it. Because first, I have to get past the idea of Ben-Gay, Viagra and Just for Men home kits. ;)
7 comments:
Mom Gone Wild...I love it, haha!
Yeah, I can say from experience that older men have just as many issues as the ones our age. Somehow I feel like they should know better, seeing as how they've lived longer and should've learned some life lessons...don't know the younger guys though. Two of our friends are marrying younger men next year!
It's been recommended that I try dating younger guys too. It's a thought....
I say that you should stop acting like a typical woman and let things fall where they may instead of putting a timetable on your life. Things don't work out the way you expect or would want them to.
One problem that many women have is that from the time they are young girls until the time they are older (and wiser)women, they have a plan in place for everything, paint a perfect picture and map out their lives accordingly. Although this might work for school, your career, buying a car or a house, it definitely does not apply to love and relationships. You can't get into a relationship and expect everything to be the way you want nor can you expect for it to progress at a rate that you expect it to.
Men are generally happier in their lives because we require less to keep us happy and we go with the flow more. Women are generally less than happy - NOT because they don't have a nice life, but because their life isn't what they expected it to be.
A man (such as myself)would look at the life you live and say to himself, "I have a good career, a beautiful child, good looks and relatively good health. I'm happy."
Obviously, women view things differently.
Another difference in the way we think is this:
Men usually want things they CAN'T have, whereas women usually want things they DON'T have. It's obviously easy to be content when you know the things you want are relatively unobtainable and it's impossible to be content when once you've gotten something you've once wanted, you then want something else.
Think about that and u might rethink your position and how bad your life is. Using an age range in dating will only give you the same problems, only with guys of a different age group each time. Try just dating, not expecting anything and go with the flow. You may not get be married in 5 years or you may be married in 2 years but the only thing you are going to do by concentrating on the fact that you aren't in a serious relationship is cause you stress that will make you gain weight, get wrinkles and gray hairs that might fall out just as soon. you'll be fat, old-looking, bald and ugly and NOBODY will want you.
So stop complaining!
Preach Dave, preach!
But for the record, I wasn't complaining. ( I don't think I cam off that way.) I'm just accepting the fact that I may have to expand my horizons to get what I want.
Oh, and thanks for saying I look good! LOL
P.S. Dave, in the future, your comments should not be longer than my posts. lol
I co-sign on leaving your old man at home in his geriatric recliner.
Nobody is trying to go home at 8pm when he starts nodding off!
On the other hand, you might not want to date someone that has an 8pm curfew, lol. His mama might beat you too!
Decisions, decisions! :-p
love this blog! i've dated my fair share of older men, range from 4 years older than me to 15 years older than me. i think that regardless of age, men have issues (but we all do). my fiance is 4 years younger than me and so is myra's fiance...so yes, give the young ones a try, too.
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