I’m blogging about this by request, and because it keeps coming up way too much in everyday conversation.
Now, the next line you read will raise some eyebrows—brace yourself.
This is not the first instance I have heard of such a thing occurring. I’ve even experienced it. However, I am not going to list personal examples because that would just be telling on myself.
But what I did do was pick the brain of a male friend. I said, “Friend, why do men lead women astray by flirting with them repeatedly and giving them false hope, only for us to later learn that they have someone at home anyway? Huh, friend?” (So, I’m paraphrasing a bit…)
His response (unparaphrased): “I mean there’s no one answer, it's a case by case thing. But overall they are trying to test the waters. He could be in an unhappy relationship, he could be bored with her, or he could just be a conniving player.”
Of course, the easy conclusion to draw would be that he is a conniving player. (ha ha)
But, as I thought more about it, I decided that he was just better at the game than us, in some cases. If he is just casually dating, with no established commitment, what is to stop him from keeping himself out there? I think a woman sometimes get caught up in the first, second and third dates way too quickly and start to immediately think long-term. We may not realize that we’re doing so, but we stop putting ourselves out there. In general, we are usually ready to commit. We find a good candidate and we’re done.
That is what made me conclude that men just might be the smarter sex when it comes to dating. I ran this by a female friend, who gave a classic response: “Well if men are the smarter sex, I’d rather be dumb.”
5 comments:
I wouldn't say men are the smarter sex rather, I would say that men are truer to themselves in that area.
We know what we want. We need to know our options in order to know ourselves better. I do it on a reg. I odn't plan on gettin with some chick but I push things sometimes just to see if I can "take it there" if I wanted.
Everyone needs a confidence booster and everyone needs to know they have options.
It's different for women b/c unless you are just butt-ugly you can get someone - even if it's not who you necessarily WANT.
With guys we have to play the field. It's our nature and it's how we stay alive. After all, what are you once you realize you have no options?
A slave...
I KNOW that men are not smarter...AT ALL!!! Dave is right, men NEVER leave the game, they ALWAYS look, smell, and if they can touch.
A part of it, I think, has to do with self confidence, he wonders if he's still got "it". Dave is right most men are looking for an upgrade.
Your girl flirted back, but when did she ask if he was in a relationship? Did she ask at all? It's sad but I now assume a man I am attracted to has someone in his life...
@Dave - I said you guys might have the edge in understanding dating-NOTHING ELSE!
@tiashenay - I guess its true when they say, "If I want you, why wouldn't someone else want you."
What I am gathering so far: men need to learn how to conduct themselves in a way that is befitting of being committed/monogamous/etc. What if your girl was running around and flirting just to see if they could take it there? You probably wouldn't like it! Unless you were into that sort of thing....
Men are not the smarter sex when it comes to dating. They aren't trying to be logical when they leave themselves open to flirtation with more than one woman, even when they are in a commited relationship. They are just BEASTS. At that moment when a woman is smiling and giving them the googly eyes they return the affection because they don't know how to do anything else. MOST men would find it difficult to ignore the advances and not smile back flirtaciously. And no they would not like it if their ladies were doing the same thing. That doesn't make them smarter in my book. Ladies, be direct and ask a man if he has a significant other (if you care).
By now means are men smarter at sex, (or anything else for that matter).
Broadly speaking, girls and boys unfortunately are socialised very differently. Women in their role as mother have a lot to answer for in how their boy children view their role in this world and in relationships.
Girls are not encouraged to the same degree boys, to explore, be curious, and think independently, and be more discerning.
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